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TobiX/Caddyfile

Last active January 3, 2025 10:53
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Caddy Tar Pit
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README.md

This is a silly snippet of caddy config file to send heavily compressed huge files to clients prodding "stupid" URLs. (idea from https://tech.lgbt/@becomethewaifu/111879788755441482)

This needs a directory with 3 precompressed files, which may be created like this (tune numbers if you have more/less bandwith to spare or want to annoy "visitors" more/less):

dd if=/dev/zero bs=1M count=10240 | gzip -9 > 42.gzip
dd if=/dev/zero bs=1M count=102400 | brotli > 42.br
dd if=/dev/zero bs=1M count=102400 | zstd -9 -T0 > 42.zstd

I got these compression ratios:

File | Compressed | Uncompressed 42.gzip | 9.937 MiB | 10 GiB 42.br | 82.032 KiB | 100 GiB 42.zstd | 3.17 MiB | 100 GiB

Raw
Caddyfile
# Tar pit
@shit {
path */.env
path /wp-login.php
}
handle @shit {
root * /srv/www
vars compression gzip
@is_br header Accept-Encoding *br*
vars @is_br compression br
@is_zstd header Accept-Encoding *zstd*
vars @is_zstd compression zstd
header Content-Encoding {vars.compression}
rewrite * /42.{vars.compression}
file_server
}
@sussycatgirl
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Since the commands to create the compressed files can take quite a while to run, I'd recommend adding status=progress to the dd command so you actually see how far it is :3

@TobiX
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TobiX commented Apr 24, 2024

@sussycatgirl Updated. Thanks.

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