# Put this into your PS profile, execute from cmd.exe:
# notepad.exe %USERPROFILE%\Documents\PowerShell\Microsoft.PowerShell_profile.ps1
# notepad.exe %USERPROFILE%\Documents\WindowsPowerShell\Microsoft.PowerShell_profile.ps1

# Because there is never enough Telemetry ...
function Telefucktry-Optout() {
    # powershell telemetry
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","User")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","User")
    # powershell updatechecks 
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_UPDATECHECK","Off","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_UPDATECHECK","Off","User")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_UPDATECHECK_OPTOUT","1","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_UPDATECHECK_OPTOUT","1","User")
    # pwsh telemetry
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","User")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","User")
    # pwsh updatechecks 
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_UPDATECHECK","Off","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_UPDATECHECK","Off","User")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_UPDATECHECK_OPTOUT","1","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_UPDATECHECK_OPTOUT","1","User")
    # dotnet telemetry
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("DOTNET_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("DOTNET_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","User")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("DOTNET_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("DOTNET_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","1","User")
    # complus telemetry
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("COMPlus_EnableDiagnostics","0","Machine")
    [System.Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable("COMPlus_EnableDiagnostics","0","User")
    # are you fucking kdding me ...
    [String]$GlobalTeleDotnet           = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("DOTNET_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","Machine")
    [String]$UserTeleDotnet             = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("DOTNET_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","User")
    [String]$GlobalTelePowershell       = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","Machine")
    [String]$UserTelePowershell         = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","User")
    [String]$GlobalTelePowershellCli    = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","Machine")
    [String]$UserTelePowershellCli      = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","User")
    [String]$GlobalTelePwsh             = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","Machine")
    [String]$UserTelePwsh               = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","User")
    [String]$GlobalTelePwshCli          = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","Machine")
    [String]$UserTelePwshCli            = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","User")
    [String]$GlobalTeleDotnetCli        = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("DOTNET_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","Machine")
    [String]$UserTeleDotnetCli          = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("DOTNET_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT","User")
    [String]$GlobalUpcheckPowershell    = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_UPDATECHECK","Machine")
    [String]$UserUpcheckPowershell      = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("POWERSHELL_UPDATECHECK","User")
    [String]$GlobalUpcheckPwsh          = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_UPDATECHECK_OPTOUT","Machine")
    [String]$UserUpcheckPwsh            = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("PWSH_UPDATECHECK_OPTOUT","User")
    [String]$GlobalComPlusDiag          = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("COMPlus_EnableDiagnostics","Machine")
    [String]$UserComPlusDiag            = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("COMPlus_EnableDiagnostics","User")
 
    Write-Host "`n
DOTNET_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT         `tMachine $GlobalTeleDotnet`tUser $UserTeleDotnet   
POWERSHELL_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT     `tMachine $GlobalTelePowershell`tUser $UserTelePowershell
POWERSHELL_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT `tMachine $GlobalTelePowershellCli`tUser $UserTelePowershellCli
PWSH_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT           `tMachine $GlobalTelePwsh`tUser $UserTelePwsh
PWSH_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT       `tMachine $GlobalTelePwshCli`tUser $UserTelePwshCli
DOTNET_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT     `tMachine $GlobalTeleDotnetCli`tUser $UserTeleDotnetCli
POWERSHELL_UPDATECHECK          `tMachine $GlobalUpcheckPowershell`tUser $UserUpcheckPowershell
PWSH_UPDATECHECK_OPTOUT         `tMachine $GlobalUpcheckPwsh`tUser $UserUpcheckPwsh    
COMPlus_EnableDiagnostics       `tMachine $GlobalComPlusDiag`tUser $UserComPlusDiag";
}