Collected wisdom

• Travel is overrated; sensation underrated.

• Everything is negotiable.

• Do more.

Ask forgiveness, not permission.

– Admiral Grace Hopper

Send out all your dogs and one might return with prey.

– Werner Herzog

It doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense. German will not change for you.

– Eva Spiesberger, my German teacher

Expand your knowledge and understanding of music and literature, old and modern.

– Werner Herzog

Take your fate into your own hands.

– Werner Herzog

Walk straight ahead, never detour.

– Werner Herzog

Boredom is a sign of satisfied ignorance, blunted apprehension, crass sympathies, dull understanding, feeble powers of attention, and irreclaimable weakness of character.

– James Bridie

Be conservative in what you do, be liberal in what you accept from others.

– Jon Postel

Remember that there is no code faster than no code.

– Taligent’s Guide to Designing Programs

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Never surrender.

– Billy Mitchell

• People think about you much less than you either hope or fear.

• Whenever you’re not sure what to say, either say nothing, or ask a question.

• When you’re feeling awful and aren't sure what to do, pretend you are the person you love the most, and give them your best advice.

• Without active care and curation, any area in your home will tend to become "storage."

• Do not ask someone if they want a glass of water. Just bring them a glass of water. Everybody likes being given a glass of water.

• Buy the nicest screwdrivers you can afford.

• Every few months, take at least one panorama photo of your kid's room. At least annually, secretly record your kid talking for at least ten minutes. I promise you'll treasure both, and then you will curse yourself for not having done each way more often.

• Try always to store something in the first place you just looked for it. Not "where it's pretty" or "where we used to keep it" or "where we have more room." It goes where it goes—not where you think it goes.

• Just because you know something doesn't mean everybody knows it. Every day, somebody's born who's never seen The Flintstones.

• If an item is especially precious or valuable to you, never set it down anyplace that you wouldn't want it to be overnight.

• Always have a twelve-pack of Diet Coke and a good quantity of unflavored fizzy water. A lot of people love one (or both), and most of the people who do drink a lot of it.

• Most team culture comes out of a combination of what is tolerated and what is rewarded. If you legit want your culture to improve, change what you reward and rethink what you will tolerate.

• The earlier a kid is around books often (and in any way), the earlier and easier their life of reading will go.

• Sometimes, people ask you how you're doing when they're especially concerned about how they’re doing.

• Stay focused on the outcome, not your original strategy. Viz.: if you’re looking for a USB cable, don't fixate on finding a specific box that might contain a specific USB cable. Just find a goddamned cable.

• Related: when you get stuck and frustrated about how to solve a problem, stop, take a breath, and ask yourself, “What am I actually trying to accomplish here?” Because, that’s the outcome on the other side of a new and less ambiguous strategy.

• Before you freak out about how you are feeling right now, ask yourself how much (or how little) you're having of sleep, food, sex, water, exercise, alcohol, drugs, sunshine, human touch, family time, and probably some other stuff I don't know of but you definitely will.

• Whenever you need to carry two seemingly identical things (like, drinks or toothbrushes or what have you), always—and only—ever carry the one that’s yours in your right hand. When you pick up the two items, always mutter aloud to yourself, “I’m always right.” Because, now, you are always right.

• Being on time for things is a sign of character and respect. Adults who are pathologically late for things are unconsciously telling the world that other people's time is worthless to them.

• Never argue on the internet. No one will remember whether you won or lost the argument; they'll just remember that you are the sort of person who argues on the internet.

• Whatever your problem is, remember that before you can get better, you have to stop getting worse. Try first to stop getting worse.

• Whenever someone demands you change who you are, it's useful to ask yourself what they stand to gain from you agreeing to become someone else.

• You are not obliged to have a strong opinion about everything. Get fewer opinions about way fewer things, and then strive always to interrogate the basis of your strongest opinions.

• Priorities are like arms. If you think you have more than a couple, you're either lying or crazy.

• If you're struggling to understand someone's behavior or motivation, understand that it's usually because of money, fear, or both.

• If you have cool stickers, use them. Put them on things. Be carelessly joyful about using your stickers. If you die with a collection of dozens of cool stickers that you never used, you did it wrong.

• Whenever you meet someone new, ask them what they're most excited about right now. Everyone interesting is excited about something right now, and they'd probably love to tell you about it.

• Related. When you meet a child, ask them if they would share the coolest thing that's happened to them this week. You can also ask them about their favorite food. Kids love food and have many thoughts about it.

• Take a walk in a place that has lots of leaves and grass and other natural, irregular patterns. It stimulates dopamine, plus you should probably be walking more anyway. (Thanks, Tom L.)

Once your party has been seated, always order a large pepperoni pizza for the table.

– John Roderick

• Treat every person you encounter as though they are having a way worse day than you.

• Your kids are not little versions of you; they are little versions of themselves. So, don't be sad or alarmed whenever they are becoming something different from you. Because, they will become lots of things that are different from you, and that's arguably the whole point. It is inarguably a thing that you need to cheerfully celebrate and support.

• Be mindful about giving gifts. A gift you give with any expectation is a burden, and people rarely enjoy being given a burden.

• In thinking about optimizing how you work, try to distinguish between the parts of your job that are necessarily difficult versus the parts that are harder than they actually need to be. The former is the reason that you get the big bucks, and the latter is the reason why you may often feel like the bucks should be bigger.

• Always have fresh lemons around.

• Write down the travel items that you forgot to pack while you're still traveling. You'll never remember things you've forgotten once you're back home. Choose to lean into your annoyance with yourself.

• Order more appetizers and fewer daily specials.

• If you want something in life, consider just asking for it. Your friends, clients, and romantic partners are probably not mind-readers. (Thanks, Harry F. H. M.)

• Related: if you want a sex thing that you think is a little weird—and your partner is a healthy adult—just tell them. They probably want a weird sex thing too, and if you could just give a special thing to each other, how cool would that be?

• Be circumspect about which strangers are allowed to alter your mood.

• Get new socks.

• Listen to a record you liked when you were fifteen.

• Take more photos and videos that include the faces of people you love.

• Write at least a paragraph a day. Of something.

• Throw out all shitty scissors.

• Bring in your neighbor's trash cans.

• Always hold the door.

• Try to fix more stuff than you break.

• Everybody is doing the best they can each day. Even though what they can do is rarely enough.

• If you are commenting on how someone looks, only ever compliment them on a thing that they have chosen.

• Great listeners ask good questions. "And what year was that?" and "Wow, did that feel really weird at the time?" and "Yikes, was that as terrible as it sounds?" are the sorts of things humans ask one another when they're actively listening to what someone is saying.

• Learn about Chesterton's Fence. Then, actively resist altering a given situation before you understand the reasons why it's remained unchanged for so long. (Thanks, G. K. C.)

• Related: Bruce Lee said the "snap" of a punch should happen behind the target. So, if or when you do decide to change something, change the shit out of it.

• Relatedly related: Read the room. When entering any new situation, be practically invisible and absolutely non-assertive until you can gauge what happened before you arrived—and how it likely felt.

• Give kids the opportunity to learn and practice new things in a low-stakes environment. Failure is important in life, but it needn't always be costly or dangerous.

• Thoughts and feelings are real, but they do not have to define you. Remember that you are the sky—not the weather. (Thanks, Pema C.)

• If you're going to a party, always bring a bag of ice. The host will appreciate it, because nobody has ever been annoyed about receiving something useful that just turns into water once it's no longer useful.

• Related: A party is only as good as the people who attend it. Especially you. Be helpful, be fun, and delight at least one new stranger.

• Rather than curating a collection of well-rounded students, strive instead to attract the constituents of a well-rounded class. (Thanks, Rab T.)

• Loving books and loving reading are very different things. One is about treasuring the priceless gift of the written word, and the other is about constantly telling strangers how much you love books.