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@randito
Created November 21, 2012 00:02
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  1. randito created this gist Nov 21, 2012.
    89 changes: 89 additions & 0 deletions insult.rb
    Original file line number Diff line number Diff line change
    @@ -0,0 +1,89 @@
    #!/usr/bin/env ruby -wKU

    regexp = /\w+-*\w+/ # i.e hugger-mugger
    triplets = ::DATA.readlines.map { |line| line.scan(regexp) }
    insults = triplets.select { |t| t.size == 3 }

    thousts = [
    'Thoust',
    'Thou',
    'You',
    'You Sir,',
    'Your good mother'
    ]

    arts = [
    'smells of a',
    'reeks of a',
    'arst a',
    'art a'
    ]

    def w(list)
    list[rand(list.size)]
    end

    puts "#{w(thousts)} #{w(arts)} #{w(insults)[0]} #{w(insults)[1]} #{w(insults)[2]}"

    # courtesy of http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html
    __END__
    artless base-court apple-john
    bawdy bat-fowling baggage
    beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
    bootless beetle-headed bladder
    churlish boil-brained boar-pig
    cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
    clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
    craven common-kissing canker-blossom
    currish crook-pated clack-dish
    dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
    dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
    droning doghearted codpiece
    errant dread-bolted death-token
    fawning earth-vexing dewberry
    fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
    froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
    frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
    gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
    goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
    gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
    impertinent fool-born gudgeon
    infectious full-gorged haggard
    jarring guts-griping harpy
    loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
    lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
    mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
    mangled hell-hated joithead
    mewling idle-headed lewdster
    paunchy ill-breeding lout
    pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
    puking knotty-pated malt-worm
    puny milk-livered mammet
    qualling motley-minded measle
    rank onion-eyed minnow
    reeky plume-plucked miscreant
    roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
    ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
    saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
    spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
    spongy rude-growing pignut
    surly rump-fed puttock
    tottering shard-borne pumpion
    unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
    vain spur-galled scut
    venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
    villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
    warped tickle-brained varlot
    wayward toad-spotted vassal
    weedy unchin-snouted whey-face
    yeasty weather-bitten wagtail
    cullionly whoreson knave
    fusty malmsey-nosed blind-worm
    caluminous rampallian popinjay
    wimpled lily-livered scullian
    burly-boned scurvy-valiant jolt-head
    misbegotten brazen-faced malcontent
    odiferous unwash'd devil-monk
    poisonous bunch-back'd toad
    fishified leaden-footed rascal
    Wart-necked muddy-mettled Basket-Cockle