wcaleb · February 9, 2016 22:59 · Feb 9, 2016 · Feb 9, 2016 · Feb 9, 2016 · Feb 9, 2016
diff --git a/effective-communication.md b/effective-communication.md
@@ -57,3 +57,5 @@ the communicator's points and reasoning; whether one glances at the work as
 a whole, or zooms in to look carefully at the details, it is
 clear that each word, sentence, paragraph or section has been the result of 
 a deliberate decision in service of a unified goal.
+
+**Acknowledgement:** I'd like to thank [Jenn Borgioli Binis](https://twitter.com/JennBinis/status/697153731058503680) for helpful feedback on an earlier version of this rubric, particularly the wording she suggested for the section related to "novice writing." (And by the way, sharing your own work in draft form can help you become a more effective communicator, too!)
diff --git a/effective-communication.md b/effective-communication.md
@@ -15,16 +15,16 @@ them, usually by putting points in the order in which they came to mind. They
 are good at cataloging or listing their ideas (i.e., "this, that, and the
 other"). But this "stream of consciousness" or serial ordering may not make
 sense to readers and audiences, who need to see the logical relationship
-between ideas (i.e., "this and that, despite the other; therefore this") and
-who look for the most important points in particular places, such as the
+between ideas (i.e., "this and that, despite the other; therefore, this").
+Audiences also typically look for the most important points in particular places, such as the
 "early" and "late" parts of a paragraph, section, or overall work. Novice
 communicators ignore such conventions, as well as others governing word choice,
 grammar, and punctuation, because they are so eager to get their ideas out
 there. But readers and audiences struggle to get that message because of the
 many grammatical errors and haphazard choices about structure. Relatedly,
 communicators who are more focused on what to say than on how to say it may
 leave their presentations cluttered with typographical errors, "first takes,"
-and filler words like "um's" or "also's"---the sorts of things that more
+and too many filler words like "um's" or "also's"---the sorts of things that more
 competent writers remove through a process of revision and redrafting.
 
 As you gain *competence* in communication, your writing will be
@@ -57,7 +57,3 @@ the communicator's points and reasoning; whether one glances at the work as
 a whole, or zooms in to look carefully at the details, it is
 clear that each word, sentence, paragraph or section has been the result of 
 a deliberate decision in service of a unified goal.
-
-**Acknowledgement:** I'd like to thank [Jenn Borgioli Binis](https://twitter.com/JennBinis/status/697153731058503680) for 
-helpful feedback on an earlier version of this rubric, particularly the wording she suggested for the section related to "novice writing." (And by the way, sharing your own work in draft form can help you become a more effective communicator, too!)
-
diff --git a/effective-communication.md b/effective-communication.md
@@ -9,33 +9,32 @@ presentation as a whole. Communication is ineffective when it violates
 rules of correct communication and/or veers from widely accepted principles 
 about how to present ideas.
 
-*Novice* communicators struggle to convey their ideas clearly due to lack of
-organization, too much or too little detail, or a weak grasp of basic
-conventions pertaining to word choice, grammar, punctuation, and sentence
-fluency. At this stage, your audience will find it difficult to figure out your
-main position and logic because the structure of your essay or talk fails to
-put the points worth emphasizing in places where they expect emphasis, such as
-the "early" and "late" parts of a paragraph, section, or overall work. Your
-work will retain the hallmarks of a rough draft: haphazard choices,
-typographical errors, and serial instead of logical structures (i.e., "this,
-that, and the other," instead of "this and that, despite the other; therefore,
-this"). Paragraphs or sections may ramble on at length, with a "stream of
-consciousness" feeling to them, or they may be cluttered with "filler" words
-(like unnecessary "um's" or "also's"). Audiences are allowed few breaks in the
-stream where they can reflect on the point you've just established or
-transition with you to a new and related point. Beginners also struggle to find
-their own voice, instead relying heavily on excessively long quotations from
-others or poorly sourced paraphrases of someone else's material. Several of
-these problems often appear together in a novice essay or speech.
+*Novice* communicators are often more focused on *what* they are saying than on
+*how* they are saying it. They present their ideas in a way that makes sense to
+them, usually by putting points in the order in which they came to mind. They
+are good at cataloging or listing their ideas (i.e., "this, that, and the
+other"). But this "stream of consciousness" or serial ordering may not make
+sense to readers and audiences, who need to see the logical relationship
+between ideas (i.e., "this and that, despite the other; therefore this") and
+who look for the most important points in particular places, such as the
+"early" and "late" parts of a paragraph, section, or overall work. Novice
+communicators ignore such conventions, as well as others governing word choice,
+grammar, and punctuation, because they are so eager to get their ideas out
+there. But readers and audiences struggle to get that message because of the
+many grammatical errors and haphazard choices about structure. Relatedly,
+communicators who are more focused on what to say than on how to say it may
+leave their presentations cluttered with typographical errors, "first takes,"
+and filler words like "um's" or "also's"---the sorts of things that more
+competent writers remove through a process of revision and redrafting.
 
-As you gain *competence* in communication, however, your writing will be
+As you gain *competence* in communication, your writing will be
 structured so as to *highlight* and *develop* a central idea or theme. Key
 points are stated "early" or "late" in the text and/or its constituent parts,
 though some of your points may still be "buried" where they are hard to find,
 and you may still struggle to put your points in logical order instead of in
 a random sequence. Paragraph breaks, signposts, and navigational words (such as
 "such as," "however," "nonetheless," "moreover," "next," and "in sum") help to
-move the reader through the text at a steady pace, signaling emphasis as well
+move the reader through the text at a steady pace, pausing to signal emphasis as well
 as the relationship of the emphasized point to the overall position. You usually
 convey your points with precise words and fluent sentences that engage the
 reader's interest, though the length and complexity of some sentences may still
@@ -59,3 +58,6 @@ a whole, or zooms in to look carefully at the details, it is
 clear that each word, sentence, paragraph or section has been the result of 
 a deliberate decision in service of a unified goal.
 
+**Acknowledgement:** I'd like to thank [Jenn Borgioli Binis](https://twitter.com/JennBinis/status/697153731058503680) for 
+helpful feedback on an earlier version of this rubric, particularly the wording she suggested for the section related to "novice writing." (And by the way, sharing your own work in draft form can help you become a more effective communicator, too!)
+
diff --git a/effective-communication.md b/effective-communication.md
@@ -1,11 +1,15 @@
+# Effective Communication
+
+## Convey your ideas verbally with correct grammar, clear organization, fluid style, and appropriate degrees of emphasis.
+
 Whether communicating in writing or orally, effective communication
 requires ongoing attention to multiple levels of your presentation, from
 the level of the sentence all the way up to the level of the
 presentation as a whole. Communication is ineffective when it violates
 rules of correct communication and/or veers from widely accepted principles 
 about how to present ideas.
 
-*Novice* communicators struggle to communicate clearly due to lack of
+*Novice* communicators struggle to convey their ideas clearly due to lack of
 organization, too much or too little detail, or a weak grasp of basic
 conventions pertaining to word choice, grammar, punctuation, and sentence
 fluency. At this stage, your audience will find it difficult to figure out your
@@ -14,15 +18,15 @@ put the points worth emphasizing in places where they expect emphasis, such as
 the "early" and "late" parts of a paragraph, section, or overall work. Your
 work will retain the hallmarks of a rough draft: haphazard choices,
 typographical errors, and serial instead of logical structures (i.e., "this,
-that, and the other," instead of "this and that; therefore, this"). Paragraphs
-or sections may ramble on at length, with a "stream of consciousness" feeling
-to them, or they may be cluttered with "filler" words (like unnecessary "um's"
-or "also's"). Audiences are allowed few breaks in the stream where they can
-reflect on the point you've just established or transition with you to a new
-and related point. Beginners also struggle to find their own voice, instead
-relying heavily on excessively long quotations from others or poorly sourced
-paraphrases of someone else's material. Several of these problems often appear
-together in a novice essay or speech.
+that, and the other," instead of "this and that, despite the other; therefore,
+this"). Paragraphs or sections may ramble on at length, with a "stream of
+consciousness" feeling to them, or they may be cluttered with "filler" words
+(like unnecessary "um's" or "also's"). Audiences are allowed few breaks in the
+stream where they can reflect on the point you've just established or
+transition with you to a new and related point. Beginners also struggle to find
+their own voice, instead relying heavily on excessively long quotations from
+others or poorly sourced paraphrases of someone else's material. Several of
+these problems often appear together in a novice essay or speech.
 
 As you gain *competence* in communication, however, your writing will be
 structured so as to *highlight* and *develop* a central idea or theme. Key
@@ -32,12 +36,12 @@ and you may still struggle to put your points in logical order instead of in
 a random sequence. Paragraph breaks, signposts, and navigational words (such as
 "such as," "however," "nonetheless," "moreover," "next," and "in sum") help to
 move the reader through the text at a steady pace, signaling emphasis as well
-as the relationship of the emphasized point to the main position. You usually
+as the relationship of the emphasized point to the overall position. You usually
 convey your points with precise words and fluent sentences that engage the
 reader's interest, though the length and complexity of some sentences may still
-interfere with clarity and the amount of emphasis given to different points may
-still be imbalanced (some points are unnecessarily repeated, while others are
-unnecessarily truncated).  Your work will show a good grasp of standard writing
+interfere with clarity. The amount of emphasis given to different points will be
+appropriately balanced, though may some points may still be unnecessarily repeated 
+or abbreviated. Your work will show a good grasp of standard writing
 conventions and grammatical rules, though you may still struggle with one or
 two recurring grammatical problems. Through revision of your own work, you
 begin to minimize repetition, locate typos and run-on sentences, and carefully
@@ -51,6 +55,7 @@ touch-ups would make the text suitable for publication or presentation in an
 appropriate "real world" venue. When audiences hear or read someone who has mastered
 the art of effective communication, they have little difficulty grasping
 the communicator's points and reasoning; whether one glances at the work as 
-a whole, or zooms in to look at its constituent and detailed parts, it is
+a whole, or zooms in to look carefully at the details, it is
 clear that each word, sentence, paragraph or section has been the result of 
-a deliberate decision.
+a deliberate decision in service of a unified goal.
+
diff --git a/effective-communication.md b/effective-communication.md
@@ -0,0 +1,56 @@
+Whether communicating in writing or orally, effective communication
+requires ongoing attention to multiple levels of your presentation, from
+the level of the sentence all the way up to the level of the
+presentation as a whole. Communication is ineffective when it violates
+rules of correct communication and/or veers from widely accepted principles 
+about how to present ideas.
+
+*Novice* communicators struggle to communicate clearly due to lack of
+organization, too much or too little detail, or a weak grasp of basic
+conventions pertaining to word choice, grammar, punctuation, and sentence
+fluency. At this stage, your audience will find it difficult to figure out your
+main position and logic because the structure of your essay or talk fails to
+put the points worth emphasizing in places where they expect emphasis, such as
+the "early" and "late" parts of a paragraph, section, or overall work. Your
+work will retain the hallmarks of a rough draft: haphazard choices,
+typographical errors, and serial instead of logical structures (i.e., "this,
+that, and the other," instead of "this and that; therefore, this"). Paragraphs
+or sections may ramble on at length, with a "stream of consciousness" feeling
+to them, or they may be cluttered with "filler" words (like unnecessary "um's"
+or "also's"). Audiences are allowed few breaks in the stream where they can
+reflect on the point you've just established or transition with you to a new
+and related point. Beginners also struggle to find their own voice, instead
+relying heavily on excessively long quotations from others or poorly sourced
+paraphrases of someone else's material. Several of these problems often appear
+together in a novice essay or speech.
+
+As you gain *competence* in communication, however, your writing will be
+structured so as to *highlight* and *develop* a central idea or theme. Key
+points are stated "early" or "late" in the text and/or its constituent parts,
+though some of your points may still be "buried" where they are hard to find,
+and you may still struggle to put your points in logical order instead of in
+a random sequence. Paragraph breaks, signposts, and navigational words (such as
+"such as," "however," "nonetheless," "moreover," "next," and "in sum") help to
+move the reader through the text at a steady pace, signaling emphasis as well
+as the relationship of the emphasized point to the main position. You usually
+convey your points with precise words and fluent sentences that engage the
+reader's interest, though the length and complexity of some sentences may still
+interfere with clarity and the amount of emphasis given to different points may
+still be imbalanced (some points are unnecessarily repeated, while others are
+unnecessarily truncated).  Your work will show a good grasp of standard writing
+conventions and grammatical rules, though you may still struggle with one or
+two recurring grammatical problems. Through revision of your own work, you
+begin to minimize repetition, locate typos and run-on sentences, and carefully
+source quotations from or allusions to other authors.
+
+*Masterful* style means being able to "pull together" all of these
+skills with minimal coaching or feedback. A masterful writer has
+internalized these writing conventions so that proofreading errors and unclear
+passages tend to be very few in submitted assignments. Only a few minor
+touch-ups would make the text suitable for publication or presentation in an
+appropriate "real world" venue. When audiences hear or read someone who has mastered
+the art of effective communication, they have little difficulty grasping
+the communicator's points and reasoning; whether one glances at the work as 
+a whole, or zooms in to look at its constituent and detailed parts, it is
+clear that each word, sentence, paragraph or section has been the result of 
+a deliberate decision.